Gah!!! So today was a huge step for me! Today, I gathered the courage to share my blog with my family and friends on Facebook. This was a HUGE mental step for me and something that I was sitting on for a while (I’ve almost deleted this entire website several times freaking out that it was a stupid idea and I’m going to look like a complete basket case)! I was so terrified of being judged, laughed at, labelled, or worse stigmatised for openly airing out all my insecurities and flaws, literally for the world to see! It was one thing getting over the fear of having random strangers read my blog before I even started sharing and promoting it (how the heck did they find me, I thought I was doing such a good job of hiding it haha!) but it’s another thing to be vulnerable in front of all the people whose opinions you truly care about the most.
After a few hours of feeling sick to my stomach not knowing how people were going to react, I have been completely overwhelmed with emotion from people’s responses. I’ve been inundated with messages from so many different people telling me how grateful they are that I’ve come out with this, as well as telling me their own struggles with anxiety and/or depression. These are people I would never have expected to be suffering. Their lives look so happy and perfect on Facebook and Instagram. Some of them are the most happiest, hilarious and loudest extroverts that leave me in stitches everytime I see them, and yet they are suffering. There are people who I look up to and who inspire me everyday, who have reached out to tell me they also suffer. I’ve had friends of friends, and people I’ve never met before reaching out to me with the most beautiful and kindest words, and that they too, have suffered or are still suffering.
This has truly opened my eyes in that we are all suffering in one form or another. What you see on the surface of a perfectly curated social media channel is never the full story. When you see and meet people, whether they are long-term friends, colleagues or strangers, what they choose to show on the surface is never the whole truth but only what they think you want to see. Our society is so obsessed with conformity, perfectionism and materialism that we are all so caught up trying to be something that we’re not. Why are we constantly being told that we aren’t good enough, pretty enough, thin enough, happy enough, fun enough, cool enough, popular enough?!?
I want to fix this. On my own I know I can’t change the world, but I know that I can at least start with myself. I want to get out of this mental prison and live my life. I want to be happy with what I’ve got, not constantly yearning for what I don’t have. I want to look at the world with a new perspective and make sure that I’m setting small mental goals to achieve this.
So first up! I’m starting weekly Reflections Sundays. Every Sunday I will take out 15 minutes to plan my week and implement one small change in my thinking. This week I’m setting myself the challenge of taking a moment to stop and find the beauty in my everyday surroundings. Something that will make me smile. I’ll come back next Sunday with all the pictures and stories and share them on here, or you can also follow me on my instagram page @_allkindsofme_ to keep posted each day.
Starting small and being consistent will hopefully start a new mental pattern that will break up the automatic negative back-chat. The law of attraction says that you will receive the vibes you put out. So if we all share good vibes we should in theory receive good vibes! Maybe if you guys are keen, we can do it together! Try and find something that makes you happy each day and post it on Facebook or Instagram and you’re more than welcome to tag me as I would love to share the journey with you! Even though it’s small, at least we can work towards making our lives that little bit better for a few minutes each day.
Until then, love, peace and good vibes xx